Coming To Terms: “ass is the universal language”

Not unexpectedly, the search terms which land people at The Hurdled Nerd haven’t gotten any less bizarre. The round-up of most intriguing terms for March 2010 is as follows…

wedding ass – A fairly benign and common search term in itself. But for some reason I found myself wondering who Googled that. And why? Exactly what was their thought process. Is it a fetish of theirs? Or is there a video of some guy being an “ass” at a wedding going viral? When I Googled it, I got the “Outer Banks Wedding Association“. Sexy.

cristina agulera´s ass – Again my curiosity about the mind of the Googler was piqued.

ass is the universal language – Oh I see. Ass is the universal language. It’s not Love. It’s Ass. Curiosity assuaged.

people who have never been in a relationship – First off, WHY are people directed to our blog when they search for that? Just because we have the word “nerd” our title? And write about things which could conceivably relegate a person to life-long virginity? That’s insulting. Anyway, I suspect a con artist is profiling emotionally vulnerable potential victims here by compiling blog posts like this.

who got rich off of the gold rush – Absolutely no one if Deadwood taught me anything.

how to make origami disco ball – Good question. The closest I could find to an answer was this link.

what bored games are they – From Victorian parlour to Parisian salon, no greater insult was ever uttered.

neil tennant fanfiction – Hello! You’ll have to excuse me, I have some reading to do.

twin peaks log lady tattoo – I wonder if her tattoo speaks to her.

people who are sick in the california government – I wonder if this person was disappointed when they didn’t get an annotated list of names. The internet isn’t like on CSI, you know.

banantastic – Yes we are.

nerd anniversary pictures – Another curiosity piquing search string. I can understand “nerd wedding” (we get a lot of those) because of nerds  doing research for their special day. Also, normies like to mock nerd weddings. But why would anyone want to see pictures of nerds, or anyone, celebrating their anniversary?

bsg board game “black market” – Gods! You have got to be kidding me.

wow babymobile – I feel like they were sitting at their computer, looking out the window, and saw a baby drive by in an Mini Cooper and they unconsciously typed “Wow! Babymobile!” into the search bar. I like to think that instead of someone trying to find a WoW mobile online so they can indoctrinate their infant.

harry fucking hagrid – When people are frustrated with Harold Hagrid, a gardener in Maine, they often mutter “Harry fucking Hagrid”. They’re not looking for Harry Potter slash on our site. This is also something I choose to believe.

nerds that are whores – Can’t help you there. But if you’re looking for nerd pin-ups

starbuck apollo twins premature fanfiction – Eww. On so many levels.

anything else like bookbyyou – I kind of really hope there is nothing else like BookByYou. But I fear this is not the case.

beer-related tattoo – Is also a douche-related tattoo.

the word hobby – Not a specific hobby or hobbies in general. Just the word: hobby.

do people have the same tattoo that voldemort – I’m afraid so. I really wish I didn’t know this about humanity.

stephen rivers – Listens to Nerd Hurdles. And now people are stalking him on the internet.

wesley crusher penis – Why?… Why?

how to draw tentacle anime – Let me continue with the WHY?

nerd intern – We could use one. For what exactly, I’m not sure. Don’t let that scare you off.

who are nerds in new garden elementry – If you have to ask, it’s probably you.

cheesy nerd rooms – Cheese nerds are the worst for elaborate theme rooms. They also tend to smell of lindberger.

dick habit – If I ever end up in a porno, this is going to be my screen name.

tom movolo riddle: i am lord voldemort – Tom Riddle’s name is a riddle. Isn’t that clever? Anyway, Googler, why were you Googling this? You clearly knew the answer already.

stamp collecting is a nerdy hobby – Correct. Again, not something you actually need to Google to know the answer to.

crumb crusher – Wesley’s funny uncle.

drarry humor – Slash is, by its very definition, comedy.

rainbow darth vader – Sadly, I found not a single “rainbow” Darth Vader on the internet. You’d think there’d be at least one Pride photo of one. Hello Kitty Darth Vader isn’t bad though.

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