Coming to Terms: nerd strangles someone (May 2010)

movie characters named blaine: I knew I shouldn’t have blogged about Hot Tub Time Machine. It guaranteed I’d just keep getting turded on by that turd of a movie. On the other hand, it seems to be nearing Zombie levels of search term gold.

three guys in hot tub: Is the nickname of the Ontario Government logo.

gay turd stories: I’m not sure if this person was looking for stories about happy douchebags or scat.

turds in hot tub: Why do people search for these things? I think if you really want to see turds in a hot tub, you should go out and drop a couple yourself. That’s what’s wrong with people these days. Too reliant on Google.

hot turd: Sounds like a hipster band.

turd nerds: I have no idea what exactly these people were looking for. Lab technicians testing stool samples?

1 nerd 1 turd: That’s the limit. Nerds have to pay for additional turds.

nerd ass; sexy nerds; nerd whores: I assume these three were from the same, I’m assuming, sweatpants-and-Darth-Maul-T-shirt-wearing guy.

nerd strangles someone: See, nerds don’t strangle. They smother. With a pillow.

village nerd: Village idiot was so middle ages.

wordles on stereotypes: I kind of feel like people who use wordles are a living stereotype.

things made of meat: Things. Anything, really. Just has to be made out of meat.

september 11th propaganda: We get this one a lot and it’s not interesting. But it reminds me of this story about this lady who saw the Nerd On Board sticker on Mandi’s car. She asked, “Do they make a Geek on Board sticker?” When I said there “could be” one but wasn’t at the moment, she lost interest. Then she said, “Didn’t I see you at the 9/11 meeting?” I said I was not there and then she told me to enjoy my hair while I still had it.

jesus freak kirk: That episode doesn’t seem to be in the box set.

mandi odo: Somebody’s putting in a fanfic request and coming up dry. Hopefully.

“plastic models” history: I think the combination of “plastic models” and “history” might be the nerdiest thing I will ever see.

nerd podcasts – history: Even I don’t want to know the complete history of nerd podcasts. Though I hope we’re at least a footnote. Maybe when we retire from podcasting, I’ll write a book titled Nerd Podcasts: A History.

80% of women find this nerd extremely hot: I suggest you don’t google this and just assume it’s Bill Nye. Or me.

gay classic tubs: The nearest I can come to making sense of this is Ricardo Tubbs is a gay icon.

jazz fusion nerds: The second nerdiest music nerds. After Hawkwind fans.

anti nerd podcast geek: It’s a paradox.

i want to know how to draw nerds!!!!!!!!: I’m sure you do!!!!!!!!!!!!

some people band: “I’m looking for this, like, band. And there’s, like, people in it.” Sorry I can’t help you out. Typical day at the record store is now a typical day on the internet.

hijinks ensue star trek comic: In between TOS and TNG, Archie and Jughead took over the U.S.S. Enterprise.

virus infected movies: The next step in the evolution of the zombie movie. The film itself is infected with a virus.

nerdy things to do in toronto: Come say hi to us at the Toronto Small Press Book Fair on June 19th.

fucking quotes in signs: Someone really doesn’t like to be told to “stop”.

what colour is lou’s hair when she returns: At first glance I thought this was just another Hot Tub Time Machine thing. Then I read it more closely and got intrigued. Who’s Lou? Where did she return from? 17 pages of google results later, I still didn’t have the answer. Also hadn’t come across the link to our blog yet which goes to show how dedicated this Googler was to their quest.

bad mullet haircut and confederate flag: They should have just Googled “TEA bagger”.

sick pictures dead people: Why do people search for this stuff? Why? I mean I know why I do. But WHY are people Googling “sick pictures dead people“. Seriously, why?

baby jesus porn: That’s it. I cannot work under these conditions. If anybody wants me, I’ll be downstairs at McDougal’s. Call the weekend guy, I don’t care!

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