Halloween is as good a time as any to watch a good, cheesy horror film . Arguably, there isn’t any cheesier horror than a slasher flick horror. Especially that Nightmare on Elm Street with the faces in the pizza. That was pretty cheesy. Actually, Freddy’s face pretty much looks like pizza cheese anyway.
But of course literal cheese isn’t what makes your average slasher flick cheesy. It’s the predictable, over-used clichés and the truly terrible, but not terribly realistic, gory kills. Do film-makers really think anyone believes blood looks like ketchup or is that intentionally part of the fun?
If you’re squeamish though, even the worst slasher flick can provide some chills. Here’s a few things to keep in mind so you don’t jump out of your skin.
- If someone opens a door to a closet or fridge, and it blocks the audiences view of the rest of the room, when they close it, the bad guy will suddenly be standing there ominously.
- If it’s dark in the house and a character is creeped out and tip-toeing around and the music is swelling then something jumps out at them… relax. It’s just a cat. Or maybe a meat cleaver. But probably a cat or a broom falling out of a closet.
- Don’t relax if it’s the first time they’ve killed the bad guy. He’s not dead yet. He’ll get up at least two more times.
- Teenagers having sex will be killed. Don’t get attached to them. Probably easy to do as they’re usually total douchebags anyway.
- The characters are going to do something stupid that makes no sense. Like going into the abandoned house instead of… doing anything else that isn’t going into the abandoned house. Just accept it.
I hope I didn’t spoil any of the Jason, Freddy or Michael movies for you there. I just wanted you to be prepared.
Since it’s our annual Halloween special, we do something a little special and talk to best-selling sci-fi author David Weber about vampires. Mostly about a certain Vlad Dracula who unexpectedly appears in his new alien invasion novel Out of the Dark.
Does David think Drac sparkles and tries to pick up girls his great-great-great-great granddaughter’s age? You can probably take a wild guess at that one, but you’ll have to listen to find out what the creator of the Honor Harrington series says about vampires, guerilla warfare, star-faring races and kinetic weapons.