March: Urine Batteries and Turd Temperatures

how to make urine battery: Bwhaat? Apparently this is an ACTUAL THING. Personally, I look forward to the day when our homes are powered by our own wee-wee.

interwebz internet badass nerd: I was picturing some kind of gamer wearing a special cyber glove and 3D goggles but This is the image Google gave me. Holy fuckballs, indeed.

do i look like angelina jolie: Are you a skull wearing a set of oversized wax lips stuck on the end of a broomstick? But seriously, I love that someone Googled this. And for those who want to emulate Angelina’s look but don’t have a set of wax lips, here’s a handy guide.

darth muter: If he finds your lack of faith disturbing, he will silence you.

case competition nerd: If it’s a competition to dress like Case from Neuromancer, that’s perhaps the nerdiest competition ever. But I suspect I simply have no idea what this is about.

barcode kabbala: Madonna is controlling the world through UPC symbols. Anyway, speaking of William Gibson, a cult of kabala devotees divining secrets of the universe from the numbers imbedded in barcodes sounds like something he could run with. Maybe not run very far, or to somewhere not stupid and cheesy, but he could get there none-the-less.

who is the head of the kabbalah: Charlie Sheen. Since the Kabbalah isn’t a thing to be the head of, he’d be perfect for the job.

fucked up charlie sheen: Yeah that Charlie Sheen. The fucked up one. Fucked up on a drug he calls Charlie Sheen. By which I assume he means he smokes his own semen.

pre owned hot tub sign: “Eh, you got any used hot tub signs?” “Yeah, we have some pre-owned models right over here, sir” “What? You deaf? I don’t want the tub, just want the sign. Fuckin’ immigrants.”

why is christina aguilera importants event life: Unless there’s a hurricane off the coast of Florida I don’t know about named “Christina Auguilera”, I’m pretty sure she’s not an important life event.

knife crime postersd: There’s some cools ones out there. And some terrible ones. But mostly I bring this up because I can’t think of a joke based on that superfluous D in the search string. Also it’s an excuse to talk up the book Edge by Thomas Blackthorn. It’s not the best tale of a dystopian future I’ve ever read, but it’s an interesting take on the escalation of knife crime in the UK.

knife crime slashes: You don’t want to get between Spock and his Kirk during pon farr.

fat guy fight posters: Are fat guy fights the new bum fights? Don’t people know the Japanese had that market wrapped-up years ago? Anyway, if you’re planning to fight a fat guy, apparently this is how you do it.

lotr femslash: The pool of “fems” in LOTR is pretty shallow. That Rosie Cotton sure gets around.

jacob is a terd: Now, this really hurts. My name is spelled with a “K“! Incidentally, “terd” is a new term in the Geektionary. A terd is a nerd who is also a turd, a nerdy douchebage dinkus.

crazy mad man: Not to be confused with a man who is angry. Not that kind of mad man. Nor an advertising exec from Madison Avenue.  A crazy man. A crazy mad man.

penis mouth: I think if your lips looked like the hole that the pee comes out of on a human penis, people would understand if you committed suicide.

wierd penis: I think this a typo for “wired penis” and not “weird penis” because who wants a weird penis when they could have a wired penis? Wired for what, I shudder to think. Something weird and pervy no doubt.

friction burn on penis: Is this a new meme? Because lots of people are searching for it.

two hand cock: Speaking of which, to give a penis a real good “indian burn”, two hands are needed.

huge thai cock: You ain’t never seen a big rooster until you been to Thailand.

tattoo of to c-o-c-k fighting: I wonder if hyphenating the word “cock” worked for or against their ultimate goal of seeing a tattoo of duelling penises.

dick eater tattoo: Usually we get searches for “death eater tattoo” (we did the same day as this, actually) but this sounds like much cooler tattoo.

looks of a nerd: Sounds like an indie film starring Jason Schwartzman as small town poet coming to terms with the death of his mother and reconnecting with a highschool crush.

meat jesus” paul: I suppose for Easter dinner we could branch out into the apostles.

classy teacher taking care of nerd comments: Not a teacher standing up for bullied nerds it turns out. Google it yourself, pervs.

smallpox pi: The most delicious of all pies.

dad is a nerd: Jessie typed into Google, her only way of expressing her frustration to the universe. Her plea was heard.

“eye patch” +lady: Equals “There be sexy times, lad.”

gaddafi glitter:  The only think that could make Gaddafi more evil is by merging him with Gary Glitter in a transporter accident. Though, his clothes wouldn’t change much.

“mandi odo”: I don’t approve of this slash.

how hot is a turd when it comes out?: I’d make fun of this search but now I really want to know too. Amazingly, the answer was not here.

like nerd: But not exactly nerd. Hit me google.

keanu reeves lonely: You don’t know lonely until you know Keanu Reeves lonely.

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One Response to March: Urine Batteries and Turd Temperatures

  1. Erwin Blonk says:

    Rory Blyhth of the now disappeared but very awesome Neopolean.com used to do the same thing and called it Google Weirdos. I love it.

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