Puke Dance: Weird Search Terms, Aug 2012

A lot of the weirdos must have been away from the Internet in August because we got a lot fewer completely baffling searches. Fewer, but not none

dancing hurler gif: Hmm. Must have been looking for this.

puke dance


look behind the curtain: This was a short-lived trend in “Think Outside The Box” type presentations given at professional development seminars. The philosophy inadvertently taught people how to call bullshit on professional development presentations such as “Look Behind The Curtain.”

boobs with captions: It’s much sexier when one is saying “I’m with stupid.”

boobs guns: Once they’d done everything else with superheroes, all that was left was giving Iron Man a gun that distracts enemies by shooting boobs at them.

penis longer than pencil: Longer than an IKEA pencil? Shouldn’t be too hard to find that on the Internet.

worst fandoms: It’s not the fandoms, it’s the fans.

scientific pick up lines with explanation: If you need the explanation, you probably shouldn’t be using these lines.

penis hurdle: What Olympians secretly call the pole vault.

what does a science lab look like: I’ve been lead to believe a science lab is a room full of these things…

jesus equation: Jesus + The Internet = 1000s of terabytes of insightful comments and respectful, well-reasoned arguments preserved for generations.

“pj katie’s farm” download full: In an age where you can find a complete torrent of almost every brilliant film or TV show ever produced, it’s nice to know there’s people willing to scrape the bottom of the barrel.

noomi rapace a nerd: There’s a comma missing from this search. It should read “Noomi, rapace a nerd.” Which begs the question of exactly  how one goes about rapacing a nerd. And further, why you’d want Noomi to do so.

bogged conveyor belt: Lucy’s been at those chocolates again.

is shane brolly still acting: If there’s any justice in the universe… Apparently Underworld: Rise of the Lycans nicely finished off his film career.

goth fail: Shane Brolly as Kraven.

kennedy gordon podcast: I don’t think he does that anymore.

lennox bowie freddy: It’s an obvious progression—David Bowie, Annie Lennox, Freddy Krueger. Know your pop-culture history!

important people that got sick and died: #1 on the list, Megan Fox. Whatever happened to her anyway? Not that I’m complaining. It’s just telling that no one seemed to notice her vanish from the public eye. It’s like how you don’t notice when you stop smelling a fart.

dead victim: Sample CSI: Moosejaw dialogue:

“The victim is right where the janitor found him. It’s weird though. No sign of struggle, no bruises, no knife or gunshot wounds. What do you think did him in?”

“It’s obvious.”

“Oh yeah?”

“He’s a victim of dead.”

Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaah!

the true willy wonka: Apparently it’s Jack White. Or that might be Johnny Depp playing Michael Jackson. I can’t tell.

nerdy kid lunchroom cupcakes: If school taught me one thing it’s that cupcakes buy popularity.

why being a science nerd is cool: You can, like, totally make a spray that makes, like, chicks clothes invisible, dude.

schitting natural girl: Schitting Natural Foods recently announced they were going to discontinue their time-honoured “Are you a Schitting girl?” photo contest. Contrary to Internet rumours the move was a reaction to criticisms that the contest was sexist and exploitative, the website Snopes.com clarifies it was because all but 5 of the 948 entries this year were, in fact, scat porn.

miss world cameltoe: The 2012 MWC competition has been mired in allegations of performance enhancing drug use.

vader pride: I never really felt like Luke was proud enough of his father. I mean… he’s Darth Fucking Vader. You might not agree with his politics but geez Luke, give the old man some props.

cyber lips: The popular term for an acute dermatological condition commonly resulting from a diet consisting only of Doritos and Mountain Dew.

بورن هوب: This translates to “Bourne hop” … yeah, I don’t know either.

robert duncan mcneill gay (68) / is robert duncan mcneill gay (3) / robert duncan mcneill is gay (1): Total: 72

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