Ask The Nerds: Re-cast Questionable Content

October 14, 2010

Q: If you could cast QC with real actors, who would you choose? Or, alternatively, if you could cast it with characters from a TV show, which one would you choose and how would you cast them?

A: Friends

Martin = Ross (Neurotic everyman with black hair)|
Faye = Rachel (Wisecracking girl with daddy issues)
Hannalore = Phoebe (Blonde wacko)
Sven = Joey (Really only  in the “ladies man” aspect)
Angus = Chandler (Wisecracker with foot-in-mouth disease)
Dora = Monica (OCD brunette working in the food industry)
Coffee of Doom = Central Perk
Living in same apartment building = Living in same apartment building

Well. It turns out Jeph Jacques basically just recast Friends by hair colour. Never noticed that before. Huh…

Ask Nerd Hurdles anything

About how big was the egg that Igor hatched from? And is there a black market for such eggs?

July 13, 2010

A Pennsylvanian farmer compares a chicken egg and an Igor egg.

Igor eggs are roughly the size of—or a little smaller than—an ostrich egg. The main distinctions are a more milky-green hue and an inexplicable constant ooze which seems to emerge from within the shell. It smells faintly of rotting cucumber. If it does not smell, the egg is “bad” and should not be purchased.

There is no need for a black market in Igor eggs. They are not regulated and you can find them quite easily at any Pennsylvania farmers’ market. While in season (September through November) they are quite often sold from stalls on the side of the highway.

I would, however, recommend staying away from the “Eggor” omelette sold at many local restaurants. Unless you appreciate the flavour of sulphur and mold, it is probably an “acquired” taste.

Ask Us anything

Please watch some Dr Who. It would be wonderful to hear your opinions on it, especially for us here in Britain who may not understand all of your cultural references.

July 12, 2010

Oi! We ‘ave to put up with your blimey cultural references on podcasts all the time, matey!

No, we really should do the Who. It’s a classic nerd hurdle trifecta:

1) Uber-rabid fans (Whooies?) make us think it can’t possibly live up to its hype;

2) There SO much of it. Where do we start? The Baker or the Tennant? Makes one want to give up right there; and

3) The production values seem a little crap.

Actually, it’s something I want to delve into (not sure about Mandi), it’s just that we keep running into those three barriers. We will, in the future, cross space and time to hurdle this subject.

Ask us anything

Short-form Formspring answers sprung

July 5, 2010

Who were Yonge and Bloor?

Trapeze artists in the early 1900’s. They came to Toronto seeking fame and, hopefully, fortune but instead plummeted to their deaths in the center of what is now a busy intersection. Trapeze Marketing ( was actually named in honour of their tragic demise. ~ Toronto Historian, Jakob

Is this a pimple, or a boil?

It’s an extra nipple. The seeping white liquid is milk. Harvest it and put it in the coffee of your house guests. ~ Dr. Jakob

Are either of you Studio Ghibli fans?

Mandi: Haaaaaammmm!

Jakob: In Toy Story 3 last night, I responded to the Totoro cameo by cooing, out loud, “Totoro!” The Japanese girl sitting beside me giggled. Later, she bawled at the end of the movie. Some people might call this the result of “heavy-handed emotional cues” but they have no soul.

We probably have more Studio Ghibli movies on our shelf than any other franchise besides Star Trek.

Response via Facebook: I do so have a soul. (Kyprieth)

The end: Nigh or not nigh?

As long as Bill Nighy is involved, it’s all going to be okay.

Seriously though, I think we’re at the end of the beginning of the end but the end of the end is still quite a ways off from beginning since we have to get through the whole middle of the end before the beginning of the end of the middle begins and the end can truly begin. ~ Prophet Jakob

You ask, we’ll answer:

Mandi, what made you want to go to Funeral School in the first place?

June 26, 2010

I liked that it combined so many different things, science, sociology, business, driving cool cars, hanging around in cemeteries, etc.

A friend of mine once said that I wanted to go into it because it was something that most people don’t know anything about, and that I wanted to know. I suppose that’s as good an explanation as any.

Turns out it’s a super sexist field. And, you have to wear panty hose a lot. I dropped out for those reasons… well mostly because I didn’t want to grow up and have a job yet. Also, I was a slacker and hadn’t found an apprenticeship.

Ask us anything

Are the two of you Neil Gaiman fans? If so, which of his books is your favourite? And if not, what about him/his books don’t you like?

June 24, 2010

Jakob: I have a longstanding love/hate relationship with Neil Gaiman. In the ’90s I had a crush on him because he’s dreamy and he looked like a goth Daniel Richler. So I read the Sandman and Death comics. I think mostly I wanted to look like Dream and date Death. So I enjoyed that stuff. I was young and angsty and clearly his demographic.

Neil Gaiman vs. Daniel Richler in the battle for mid-1990s bourgeois intellectual arm-crossing superiority.

Thing was, his concepts are pretty good but his plots are kind of hodge-podge and unfocused. The Death stories were, upon re-reading them years later, really kind of trite.

Also, he bases everything (sometimes loosely) on pre-existing myths, characters and legends which gets pretty tiring over a few decades of work. Sometimes he hits one out of the park (Stardust) and other times he’s unreadable (American Gods).

The Anansi Boys audiobook, read by Lenny Henry, is excellent, but I suspect reading it wouldn’t be nearly as fun. Neverwhere was pretty good for bad TV, but the book smacked of paying too close an homage to Douglas Adams. The main character really is just Arthur Dent underground instead of in space.

There’s almost always something I like about Gaiman’s work and something I don’t quite enjoy. Something about him trying to fit between Adams and Terry Pratchet and never quite finding his own voice.

I guess I’d just like him to do more stuff that wasn’t on the “old gods living disguised in modern culture” theme.

I’m not sure what Mandi’s thoughts on Gaiman are. But she does have American Gods on her bookshelf. Which how I came to have the unpleasant experience of reading the first thrid of it.

Ask us anything

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