2012 in review

January 2, 2013

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog. Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 24,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 6 Film Festivals.

The busiest day of the year was February 10th with 139 views. The most popular post that day was Death Disco Star.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for robert duncan mcneill gayugly bettyunderworld asslindsey stirling butt, and nerd costume.

Click here to see the complete report.

The Empire Sucks Back: The Zine

October 29, 2011

Purchase The Empire Sucks BackThe Empire Sucks Back

The epic blog post is now a zine! Jakob’s controversial views on exactly what makes The Empire Strikes Back a bad movie are expounded in this 16-page essay. Since there is no “try”, it’s up to you to decide if he does or does not make a strong argument.  Afraid? You will be… you will be…

$3 CAD (shipping incl.)


Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D Aroma-Scope, stinks

August 25, 2011

I really didn’t expect to go to Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D Aroma-Scope, but my co-host and light of my life,  Mandi, was insistent. Rarely have I seen her so excited for an upcoming movie that wasn’t about teenage wizards (or vampires). Actually, I’ve never seen her so excited for any film.

It wasn’t too surprising, I figured, since the first Spy Kids movie was truly excellent and the second two instalments were pretty great as well. Not only were they family films made by a proper director—not just cheap product rolled off a studio assembly line—but they also showed there was more to Robert Rodriguez than ultra-violent, post-modern grindhouse flicks. They had heart, a unique style, great writing and they had great casts. Some of his best work by far.

I would have been more confused by Mandi’s excitement if I’d known Mandi had never actually seen a Spy Kids movie. I didn’t know until we were pulling into the cinema parking lot that she was going purely for the Aroma-Scope experience. As far as seat-filling gimmicks go, this one apparently works (except our theatre was only about 20% full).

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Hot Tub Turd Machine

April 16, 2010

Although it makes more sense in 2010 to make an homage to 1980s teenage sex/romantic comedies than it did in 1998 with The Wedding Singer—enough time has passed now to really play-up on the decade’s cringing sense of nostalgia—Hot Tub Time Machine only succeeds in that a lot of the original films weren’t really as good as we remember.

They are all, however, better than Hot Tub Time Machine.

The film tries to do too much with as little effort as possible. The results are predictable—a total and unremitted mess. Here is a list of the top-ten flaws in Hot Tub Time Machine:

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