A lot of the weirdos must have been away from the Internet in August because we got a lot fewer completely baffling searches. Fewer, but not none…
dancing hurler gif: Hmm. Must have been looking for this.
I should have hated The Avengers. By all rights it’s a film that should have sank under its own bloated, overly ambitious weight. It should have been a complete mess.
This collection of heroes don’t even seem to belong in the same film. They each operate by their own set of superhero rules. Some are merely “costumed heroes” (Iron Man, Black Widow) and others are literally gods (Thor).
Conventional wisdom would say you can have one or the other in a film, but not both. You wouldn’t have, say, Batman or Spiderman fighting Cthulhu or Jesus for instance (but maybe that’d be awesome).
Even the two Avengers given superpowers through scientific intervention, Captain America and The Hulk, are at opposite ends of the spectrum.
Assuming you can swallow the basic concept that some super rays can make a dude super strong, the way it’s done with the good Captain is at least vaguely believable. He’s still a man. An enhanced, super man, but just a man. It’s a pill, but it’s still small enough to go down without choking you (and by “you” I mean “me”).
In contrast, The Hulk is just patently absurd. And even if I can swallow this big green (why green?) pill in his own film, when he’s standing beside these other heroes he just looks silly. Though not as silly as the guy dressed up in an exotic dancer’s idea of a viking costume.
The Hulk simply raises a few questions in my mind. Why is he green? Why does anger trigger his metamorphosis? Why is he green? Why don’t the physical laws of conservation of mass apply to him and his pants? And why is he green?
All this is to say, the movie should have been too hard to swallow. But here’s the thing.
Joss Whedon is a freaking wizard.
He can take a bad idea (like giving the absolutely worst character from Buffy The Vampire Slayer his own show) and spin it into gold. With his twin superpowers of witty banter and ensemble dynamics—possibly the same superpower—it almost doesn’t matter what the subject matter is, he can suck you in and make you care about absurd characters in ridiculous situations.
His unique wizardry can make you forget:
Ultimately, you could excise all the action sequences from this movie and still have something worth watching.
Try doing that with Transformers.
fashion for 80’s nerds men: A good tip for nailing nerd fashion is to dress like someone in their 80’s.
are birkinstocks for nerds: Only if the nerds are lesbians.
what do mathematicians wear: Birkenstocks.
nerd scum: A colloquial term for the residue build up found on track-pads and mice. It commonly consists of skin cells, sebaceous fluid and Dorito’s seasoning.
the hurdle sex toy: Our plans for the “Wangina”—a combination penis and vagina sex toy—was abandoned. Mostly because we couldn’t figure out what that would look like.