Weird Search Terms June 2012: geeks are truly nerds

July 1, 2012

we so special aren’t we: We is that. So special we due for a pocalypse.

selene underworld porn pitchers: Toss those videos right in here. Schwing battabattabatta schwing!

بورن هوب سكس سكس امريكي اغتصاب: “Born U.S. hop sex sex rape” WTF ? Maybe something was lost in the translation?  O_o

rape sexy movie for adults: Sure, they’re classics but those Disney rape sexy movies are watered-down versions for the kiddies.

seven of nine cameltoe: Also weird camel-ribs. What’s up with those?

stargate captain carter cameltoe: Carter Cameltoe got a lot of ribbing about his name at the Academy.

seven of nine chakotay fanfiction: That is the least likely… no… just no.

dan mully & foxx sculder: It’s finally happened. Porn stars have run out of names.

“nerd swords”: Starring Dan Mully and Foxx Sculder.

famous people with asperger’s: An interesting LIST though their definition of “famous” seems a little debatable. Oddly, Dan Mully does not appear.

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Episode 71 – Trials and Tribulations of Nerds in The Workplace

June 25, 2010

After high school, the most dangerous place for the common nerd is the workplace. Or is it?

It really all depends on the workplace in question. An investment office full of ambitious, privileged, pretty people might not be a safe haven for a dumpy, balding man with a moderate case of Aspergers. But he might be revered as a guru at the comic shop.

Or he might get fired for sexually harassing “the girl” who works there.

But extreme situations aside, many people feel the need to hide their nerdy inclinations from their colleagues. And it’s too bad since they might find out there’s a fellow Trekkie two cubicles down if they weren’t afraid of ridicule around the water-cooler.

And it’s no wonder people are afraid. Whenever coworkers find out I like Star Trek and sci-fi they always say something to the effect of, “Really? I didn’t think you would be into that kind of thing!” with barely disguised disdain. I find it amusing  but someone less at ease with their own nerdiness may feel the need to cry away the shame in a bathroom stall.

Also amusing is when they think they’re being reassuring and supportive by saying, “But you’re not a… a nerd.”

I usually just say, “Yeah, I am kind of,” and refrain from pointing out they’re a big nerd too. Probably bigger than me. Like closeted gays who rattle off homophobic epithets to protect themselves from their own desires, the biggest offenders of workplace nerd-bashing are closeted nerds. Another reason the Nerd Pride movement is so important.

ugly betty
They even make sitcoms about nerds facing discrimination in the workplace.

By and large, Mandi and I have been lucky. We’ve both worked exclusively in nerd-friendly environments. Mandi worked at a Nerd Store (comics, role-playing games, magic supplies—as in actual stage magic, not the card game) and historical reenactment Fort, and I’ve worked at video stores and record stores before moving on to the uber-geeky environment of mid-level government offices.

Record stores may seem like hot-beds of cool from the outside, but you’ll never find a more wretched hive of nerds and geekery. Sure, the odd coolie-woolie comes in looking for the hippest new record by the hippest new band from Brooklyn, but the regulars are guys looking for first-pressings of ’70s prog bands or Japanese pressings of Deep Purple records with the obi intact.

I ask you who’s nerdier: A guy looking for a specific Spiderman comic or a dude looking for a specific bluegrass 78 from the 1930s? I’ve seen both and let me tell you, anyone looking for 78s is beyond hope.

So the other side of the counter is pretty much the safest place for a nerd to work. I’ve also seen nerds’ social statuses skyrocket as soon as they became record store employees. It’s a sad statement on society and the sheep-like nature of human beings, but it’s a fact. Record stores turn nerds from pumpkins into princesses. Too bad they really are going to be a thing of the past in about five to ten years.

Nerd-bashing certainly can be a danger in the workplace, we’ve just never experienced it. But normies should take note and watch this classic study on what can result from workplace nerd abuse. Be careful who you marginalize.

LINK: We reference a Karen who bought actress Suzie Plakson‘s vulcan ears. And we say some stuff about that. You can read about that HERE for context.


Episode 68 – Free Masons From Conspiracy

June 4, 2010

Lots of people think the Freemasons are up to something. Probably because they make creepy websites like this one. But anyone who’s ever actually met a Freemason would realize they’re just a bunch of nerds who want a clubhouse. Check out the guy in this video. I don’t really get the impression he’s part of a world-wide plot. Unless hideous sweaters are a world-wide plot. Which, come to think of it, they kind of are. Open your eyes people!

People also don’t trust the Freemasons because they keep secrets. People generally don’t like people who keep secrets. Unless they’re keeping your secrets. In that case, they have character.

And by “character” I mean being a total square and not being around anyone even vaguely cooly-wooly for an evening (that’s what’s up with the compasses in Masonic imagery). Which is why “having character” seems to be what Freemasonry really is all about. Taking a good man and making him better.

Now, if that doesn’t make you vomit in your mouth a little, you might consider joining your local order. And I want nothing to do with you.

As part of Doors Open Toronto, Mandi and I had a chance to take a look around the Prince of Wales Lodge in The Junction. The first thing we noticed was blue. Blue everywhere. A very ugly shade of royal blue. Everywhere. And a lot of occult symbols. Blue. And weird bric-a-brac. And more blue.

The structure of Freemasonry (clicken to embiggen)

Also there were real live Freemasons answering questions. Sort of. If by “answering” you mean “hedging” and “being vague as fuck.” It made them seem a wee bit unecessarily creepy. That was clearly part of the fun for them. Because at heart they’re all big nerds.

Really, what do all nerds (sci-fi, sports, music, gaming, history, etc) have in common? A vast amount of esoteric knowledge to digest and to feel superior about being in possession of. It seems like the entire structure of Freemasonry is layers of trivia wrapped around an occult mythos. It’s nerd heaven.

Which is also why conspiracy nerds love them so much. Their secretiveness is a goldmine for people who want to believe the world is a little more interesting than the banal reality it isn’t steered by secret organizations. Something’s got to be controling everything, right? It can’t all just be random. Life can’t be that banal and meaningless, right?

Yes it can. Which is why dudes like this make videos:

And if that isn’t enough for you, check out the comments on this YouTube video about the Illuminati putting subliminal symbols and messages into movies. You’ll never find a more distilled supply of head-exploding, deluded ignorance.


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