Episode 85 – Actor Hurdles

October 15, 2010

Mandi can’t tell Al DeNiro apart from Robert Pacino.

We all have them. Our “deal-breaker” actors who keep us from giving a film a chance. There’s the classic universally vilified actors (the post-scandal Hugh Grants and Mel Gibsons) and the more personal choices (Seth Rogan). This week we try to round-up a list of our most hated thespians.

Top Deal-Breaker Actors:

1: Tom Hanks. His smarmy mug ruins any chance of us ever watching another one of his films. That and the fact he keeps making Dan Brown films.

2: Kevin Kostner. Terrible acting, self-righteous arrogance and really tight jeans are a killer combination.

3: Mel Gibson. Batshit crazy misogynist and racist statements aside, he took a turn for the Costnerian school of acting at some point. Somewhere in the middle of the Lethal Weapon series, I think. When he grew the mullet.

4: DeNiro/Pacino. Seriously. Have either of these guys really put in a good performance (not just playing a caricature of their early roles) since the ’80s? If you said “yes”, remember that lying is a sin. Even if you’re only lying to yourself, you’re going to burn in Hell. But you’ll have company. Pacino and DeNiro are going to be right beside you for their  sin of sloth. Michael Caine and Jack Nicholson will be there too. It’ll be like a party of old, lazy, living cartoons.

5: Will Smith. Not mentioned on the show but a classic example of an actor hurdle. Whereas the other people on this list are “unhurdleable” in most cases, Smith’s performances (like Tom Cruise’s or Bruce Willis’) are usually genuinely enjoyable if we actually force ourselves to watch the films. Which is a very rare occurence.

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