Darth Wonka: Strange Search Terms (April ’12)

May 17, 2012

You want bigger Wonka Vader? You click that shit.willy wonka meme chewbacca: Oh, you made a snarky meme? Please tell me all about it. Anyway, Darth Vader inexplicably dressed at Willy Wonka… just ‘cuz.

anal, canada, true north: This is a nicely condensed version of the lyrics of our national anthem. They left out “Strong and free” but you get the gism. I mean fist. Dammit. Gist, you get the gist.

chad kroeger shaved: Some things cannot be unseen. Especially when they’re images you’ve conjured in your head after reading a search string. I’d hate to make you to imagine Chad Kroeger’s prickly taint hairs growing back in but, well, there you go.

angelina jolie real photos: “That skeletal harpie is not Angelina Jolie, Google. I said give me Angelina Jolie photos!”

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Do not succumb to porn. Weird search terms, March 2012.

April 19, 2012

Due to a variety of reasons, I’m way late with our March round-up of unusual search terms. In unrelated news, the world didn’t end.

fashion for 80’s nerds men: A good tip for nailing nerd fashion is to dress like someone in their 80’s.

are birkinstocks for nerds: Only if the nerds are lesbians.

what do mathematicians wear: Birkenstocks.

nerd scum: A colloquial term for the residue build up found on track-pads and mice. It commonly consists of skin cells, sebaceous fluid and Dorito’s seasoning.

the hurdle sex toy: Our plans for the “Wangina”—a combination penis and vagina sex toy—was abandoned. Mostly because we couldn’t figure out what that would look like.

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Happy Easter, Nerds!

April 7, 2012

Image

In honour of Easter I made some lovely Jesus stigmata cookies. -Mandi


Search Terms Oct. 2011: “the internet is a weird place”

November 11, 2011

the internet is a weird place: I have no idea exactly what you’re talking about.

pond anime adult: I’m still trying to wrap my head around this one. I hesitate to assume “pond anime” isn’t a thing, because when dealing with anime, anything is potentially a thing. Even a whole sub-genre set in ponds. And, naturally, involving sex.

ponography+word+gaints: “Ponography” refers, as if you didn’t know, to pictures of ponds. The internet is rife with anime ponography. Especially that which involves “gaints”, small creatures named such because they “ain’t giant.”

hurdles in life christina aguilera had: Apparently in an elementary school somewhere Yoda is writing a history report on the former teen diva.

why you mad though: I appreciate how they tried to grammar up the angering “Why U Mad Tho” meme.

hayao miyazaki vs tim burton: This would be a cage match worth witnessing. But, now that I think of it,  I’d also like to witness Miyazaki’s take on Alice In Wonderland, Willy Wonka and Sleepy Hollow. More so than Studio Ghibli’s upcoming Miyazaki-less and rather straight looking take on The Borrowers.

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Search Terms, August 2011: worse than fanfics

September 1, 2011

They say April is the cruellest month. They’ve clearly never been to Ontario is bloody August. Must be the same everywhere though as people clearly went crazy with the heat.

“john de lancie” “stephen harper”: This is perhaps the most baffling combination of personages I have ever been forced to consider. I really hope it doesn’t mean Q is going to play Harper in a bio-pic or a mini-series. Or that Stephen Harper is trying to figure out how to literally become an all-powerful entity. Most likely someone was looking for this forum thread.

gifs, nerdy: Not particularily nerdy, but these GIFs are pretty amazing. Calling them “cinemagraphs” is actually pretty nerdy. Or douchie.

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Episode 62 – Get on the Jebus

April 23, 2010

Religion itself might not be a nerd hurdle per se, but there sure are a lot of geeky religion fanboys and fangirls out there. Even the devotion of a Trekker  pales in comparison to that of a dyed in the wool Jesus Freak.

Though some of the worlds religions may be able to boast they have a greater number of fans, none of theirs have quite the level of geekiness as the typical North American Christian. Why is that?

Is it the western capitalist ability to commercialize anything no matter how sacred? If so, why isn’t the nerdiest Jew half as nerdy as the average Mormon? Perhaps only God knows.

We do have some theories which we toss around like so many loaves and fishes. You can listen to them if you click on Kenny Loggins’ mullet—which plays the role of Jesus’ Mullet in the claymation adaptation of the Easter story, The Miracle Maker—at the top of this post.

Links: Red Letter Media; The Miracle Maker; Jack Van Impe; Is homosexuality a sin.


Meet… Baby Meat Jesus

December 26, 2009

This year Mandi and I had the honour of cooking Christmas dinner for her family. Click on the picture to go to the Baby Meat Jesus page!

baby jesus made of meat


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