Weird Search Terms June 2012: geeks are truly nerds

July 1, 2012

we so special aren’t we: We is that. So special we due for a pocalypse.

selene underworld porn pitchers: Toss those videos right in here. Schwing battabattabatta schwing!

بورن هوب سكس سكس امريكي اغتصاب: “Born U.S. hop sex sex rape” WTF ? Maybe something was lost in the translation?  O_o

rape sexy movie for adults: Sure, they’re classics but those Disney rape sexy movies are watered-down versions for the kiddies.

seven of nine cameltoe: Also weird camel-ribs. What’s up with those?

stargate captain carter cameltoe: Carter Cameltoe got a lot of ribbing about his name at the Academy.

seven of nine chakotay fanfiction: That is the least likely… no… just no.

dan mully & foxx sculder: It’s finally happened. Porn stars have run out of names.

“nerd swords”: Starring Dan Mully and Foxx Sculder.

famous people with asperger’s: An interesting LIST though their definition of “famous” seems a little debatable. Oddly, Dan Mully does not appear.

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Episode 149 – The Definitive Nerd

June 18, 2012

Click to listen to Nerd Hurdles podcast do The Definitive Word podcast

 

This was our contribution to the aborted Simply Syndicated “switch-up” fundraiser. It’s our take on The Definitive Word which was Jakob’s gateway podcast. We recorded this episode almost two years ago exactly and have absolutely no idea what might be on it. If we did the original justice, it’s a sack of rambling, tangential gibberish.

 


Episode 130 – Going To The Library

October 12, 2011

CLICK TO PLAY LIBRARY PODCAST

This week we are joined by our soft-spoken librarian friend Stephen about the most hallowed of all nerd haunts, the public library. Together we comb the stacks in search of the fiction, non-fiction and history behind the stigmas and stereotypes of the institution, its employees and its patrons.

Links: We would have written about famous librarians in pop culture but a blog called The Despectacled Librarian has already done more research on the subject than we care to.
Librarians in song

Librarians on TV
Librarians in movies

Libreas Podcast (as in Library Ideas… see what they done there?). Interestingly the name is a pun in English but the podcast is actually in German.


Search Terms September: Darth Porn and Stupid Giant Robots

October 3, 2011

darth porn: I guess George Lucas is running out of words with negative connotations to name new Sith characters after. Darth Tax Au’dit, Darth Plahd Sh’ert and  Darth Hemor-Rhoid all failed to inspire the requisite sense of menace.

darth redenbacher how to draw tie fighter: This is a perfectly legitimate search in itself. I started formulating a joke about instead giving instructions for drawing a bow tie and then MY BRAIN IMPLODED. It’s taken me 34 years to figure out they’re called TIE Fighters because they look like fucking bow ties. Fuck you George Lucas and your bullshit naming conventions.

huge thai fighter fuck:
I know it’s entirely unrelated, but now I can only picture Orville Redenbacher fucking a Thai boxing ladyboy.

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Search Terms, August 2011: worse than fanfics

September 1, 2011

They say April is the cruellest month. They’ve clearly never been to Ontario is bloody August. Must be the same everywhere though as people clearly went crazy with the heat.

“john de lancie” “stephen harper”: This is perhaps the most baffling combination of personages I have ever been forced to consider. I really hope it doesn’t mean Q is going to play Harper in a bio-pic or a mini-series. Or that Stephen Harper is trying to figure out how to literally become an all-powerful entity. Most likely someone was looking for this forum thread.

gifs, nerdy: Not particularily nerdy, but these GIFs are pretty amazing. Calling them “cinemagraphs” is actually pretty nerdy. Or douchie.

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Episode 114 – Wil Wheaton Special

May 27, 2011

Wil Wheaton. AKA Wesley Crusher. AKA @wilw. AKA the king of the nerds. Hated by Trekkies, loved by Mandi. And now loved by everyone (1,825,339 people on Twitter at least). As a popular internet fauxtivational poster meme states, never has public dislike been so good for an actor’s career.

The man truly is a testament to nerd pride. Loathed by proxy due his spot-on portrayal of a 24th century nerd, I think pretty much everyone had written him off as a has been once he left Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Wesley Crusher in LederhosenThen something amazing happened. Wil Wheaton let his nerd flag fly on his blog, and then Twitter, and people began to love him for all the same attributes they hated Wesley Crusher. He was smart, earnest, geeky, awkward, a little conceited at times, a little cripplingly self-loathing at times and simply someone nerds could relate to.

Though the character Wesley might have been too close to home—too much of an unforgiving  nerd mirror—for many Trekkies, Wil Wheaton was able to be openly nerdy and help others proudly exit the nerd closet.

Nearly two million people follow him on Twitter now and I would think none of them do so for the same train wreck voyeurism they were hoping to get from Charlie Sheen‘s feed. Instead, it’s because Wil really is (to quote the title of his book) just a geek. When an @wilw tweet shows up in your feed, it’s probably no different from the tweets of any of your nerdy friends. There are times I forget I don’t actually know him.

And now, in an unpredictable coupe, Wheaton is the go-to cameo actor for any show trying to gain geek cred. From The Guild to Big Bang Theory, Wil’s coat-tails have been well-ridden of late. If you’d asked me in 1987 if this would ever come to pass, I’d have chortled mightily.

Actually, I’d have thought the concept there could even be a “king of the nerds”, and not just the butt of jokes (i.e., Revenge of the Nerds), would’ve been an absurdity.

We’ve come a long way, baby.

She’s Having a Baby (his first cameo?):

On River Phoenix’s death:


Nerd(s) of the Month Nov/Dec 2010

December 15, 2010

Another two-fer Nerd of the Month since we only got halfway on the ball with the Sept/October round-up. Best intentions oft go stuff themselves. We do one better this time around and actually give you a three-fer of NOTMs.

November 2010: Graeme Taylor & Some British Kid

Graeme Taylor, gay-defender-defending gay kid:

And this “British Teen” whose name I can’t seem to find on the Internet:

Ignore for the moment that they have the same haircut and might be the same kid putting on different accents, these young men have been all the rage in the media for speaking their minds.

They are joint NOTMs for the month of November as a reminder there’s more to being a nerd than spells and lasers, there’s also holding strong to higher ideals against the tide of jaded apathy. It’s tougher to do when you’re young and being “cool” often mean appearing to “not give a shit.”

Of course, we learn as we get older that being “cool” means keeping a level head and remaining rational when fighting for the things that really matter to you.

But that’s not what the media tells us. The epitome of Hollywood cool, James Dean’s Jim Stark, wasn’t actually cool; he was an emo-douchebag who didn’t have the stones to be honest with himself or anyone around him.

The archetype for true cool often goes unrecognised. Leonard Nimoy’s portrayal of Spock is downright chilly in comparison. Unless meddled with by some alien entity, Spock keeps his attitude frosty even in the most dire circumstances. Even in death, he remained stoic.

Similarly, another cool customer would be none other than Han Solo.  Not only does he shoot first and name snarky comments later, when faced with certain imminent death he keeps his emotions in check. To the point of acknowledging Leia‘s declaration of love with a simple, “I know.”

Actually, that’s kind of a douchebag move. But not emo. Han Solo was no mopey Edward.

And to varying degrees both these young men have a little Spock and a little Han Solo in them. Mostly Spock. And mostly just the hair.

December 2010: Christmas Food Court Flash Mob

Eh, it’s seasonal. Mandi likes it and there’s no denying these folks are HUGE NERDS.


Episode 83 – Battlestar GalacTALKa Series Finale / True Blood

October 5, 2010


Those who’ve listened to the episode already know that we didn’t GalacTALKa about the finale very much. Perhaps not as promised, but pretty much as expected. It wasn’t our fault though. For one thing True Blood is a lot more interesting to talk about. Those are some characters you can sink your teeth into.

Fear not, further talk on the BSG finale, Daybreak, will probably jump its way into future episodes. Perhaps if we ever do a Diana Gabaldon special. Because I will have even less to say about Outlander than Mandi did about the BSG finale. Or exactly the same amount: “It’s fine.” Except that would be a complete lie. I had to put it down at page 76 feeling that it is the antithesis of “fine.”

But in case we never get around to a real breakdown of Daybreak on the podcast, here’s a few thoughts we had.

1) Question: Why didn’t the fans like the finale? I’m not exactly sure I understand what upset people so much. It was, as Mandi said with a slight sigh of resignation, “Fine.”  I didn’t pay a lot of attention to their comments at the time it aired, trying to stay spoiler-free, but now I’m wishing I did.

Because for anyone who actually enjoyed the series for what it was, Daybreak had to be pretty much the perfect finale. Which means it was only “just fine” but still, what did people expect? Did anyone really think the show would suddenly stop being an overly melodramatic soap opera with massive continuity flaws and hackneyed, plot-driven writing?

Perhaps they objected to the completely pointless flashbacks to before the war that slowed the pace down to a near standstill. Those scenes could all have been removed to the betterment of the episode(s). They only served to be pretentious wankery and did little to shed any new light on the characters.

So Apollo and Starbuck almost made-out when Zack was still alive? Is that supposed to be a character revelation that suddenly puts their relationship in perspective? If so, it fails miserably. It doesn’t tell us anything we don’t already know about them.

Nor do Roslin’s ill-fated cougar episodes tell us anything more about her lonely, isolated personal life on Caprica. We got all that in the series, the way we should have—from her character development and in the subtext within Mary McDonnell’s portrayal.

Like any prequel, the flashbacks only served to weaken what was already there, not add a new layer of depth. Which is why they were probably so boring to watch. Perhaps, if you’d never experienced a single minute of BSG, they’d have been interesting interludes introducing you to those characters that added context for what was going on in the present. But if so, why the hell were you watching the series finale and not the debut miniseries?

2) It wasn’t nearly as religious as we’d been lead to believe. In fact, I’d go as far as to say it wasn’t religious at all. Instead it was purely mythological, a rehash of a thousand creation myths rolled into one. Based, again, on the outrage of fans at the time, I was expecting a heavy-handed Christian message tacked-on at the end or something.

But no, it was about as sci-fi as anything I’ve read or seen but with a lot less heavy-handed Christ imagery than something like Narnia, The Matrix or even Fifth Element.

Yes, religious beliefs do play a large role in the story for the characters. But religious beliefs play a major role for Bajorans, Vulcans, Klingons, Jedis, and Elves. There is clearly a “God” and “Angels” in BSG, but I expect it’s just some alien race like The Q.

But then, I’m an athiest and if I were confronted with a real life miracle, I’d probably think the same thing.

3) The opera house dream arc makes no sense at all. Well, it makes sense, but it doesn’t come anywhere close to working.

The strength of BSG is supposed to be the plot arc that sweeps over all four seasons. Which would be a great thing if it wasn’t painfully clear that they had no idea where they were headed from the start. The opera house/dream storyline highlights this best.

There is absolutely no point to Roslin’s or Gaius and Caprica Six’s connection to Hera. They don’t really save her. They don’t end up raising her, Athena and Helo are still alive. And beyond that, there ultimately isn’t even any point to Hera’s existence at all. She isn’t the one to point them to Earth, Kara does. Hera doesn’t convince Cavil and Adama to end the war, they more or less work that out on their own. If she doesn’t get eaten by a lion, Hera will probably just grow up to mate with a Neanderthal. Okay, great… So what? So is everyone else. After all the drama surrounding Hera, she ends up having no real significance? If there’s one thing the fans should have been upset about it’s that.

Of course, the writers and producers set themselves up to fail by, at one point or another,  alluding to almost every single character as being a possible Saviour figure. From Kara to Sam to Roslin to Gaius to Hera to Leoben to [insert character name here], they couldn’t all be the one who saves Humanity and Cylonity(?) from extinction.

Unfortunately, the writers didn’t tie the story up well enough so that they all played an equal part. Most of them were dead weight, dragging the plot down, by the time they finally reach Earth.

There’s no small amount of minutiae I could get into, but picking apart BSG’s minutiae is like shooting ducks in a barrel with Galactica’s cannons (which never really seemed to hit much, considering the continuous barrage of death they spewed). The above were the main points I noticed while watching the finale and, really, about all the consideration I wish to ever give the show again.

Perhaps in the future some nit-picking will emerge as we tangent off topic on another show, but for now we’re watching True Blood (which is like a really good Twilight fanfic).


Gingers, Masons and Emo Nazguls (June 2010)

June 30, 2010

ginger pride: We’re all about the Nerd Pride and the Gay Pride but we’ve been remiss in supporting the Ginger Pride. Here’s some questions for debate. Has Ron Weasley hurt or helped the cause? Is M.I.A. prophet or a satirist with her video?

80 year old gay and nick daddies tube: We’re also about the 80 year old gay and nick daddies pride, apparently. Whatever a “nick daddy” is. Sounds British.

how to draw fucking cool things: This is the updated 2010 edition of How To Draw Comics The Marvel Way. It has a chapter just on drawing a kitten driving a giant robotic unicorn trampling Edward and Bella.

emo nazgul:I hate everything.  Sauron is always making me ride all over Middle Earth looking for stupid fucking Hobbits. Hobbits? Seriously? Halflings? It’s not fair. If he’s so great why can’t he just teleport them into his tower? He just doesn’t want me to have any fun. The other Nazguls don’t get it. They just go along with whatever Sauron says like they’re compelled to. Fucking sheeple. I hate everything.”

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Episode 71 – Trials and Tribulations of Nerds in The Workplace

June 25, 2010

After high school, the most dangerous place for the common nerd is the workplace. Or is it?

It really all depends on the workplace in question. An investment office full of ambitious, privileged, pretty people might not be a safe haven for a dumpy, balding man with a moderate case of Aspergers. But he might be revered as a guru at the comic shop.

Or he might get fired for sexually harassing “the girl” who works there.

But extreme situations aside, many people feel the need to hide their nerdy inclinations from their colleagues. And it’s too bad since they might find out there’s a fellow Trekkie two cubicles down if they weren’t afraid of ridicule around the water-cooler.

And it’s no wonder people are afraid. Whenever coworkers find out I like Star Trek and sci-fi they always say something to the effect of, “Really? I didn’t think you would be into that kind of thing!” with barely disguised disdain. I find it amusing  but someone less at ease with their own nerdiness may feel the need to cry away the shame in a bathroom stall.

Also amusing is when they think they’re being reassuring and supportive by saying, “But you’re not a… a nerd.”

I usually just say, “Yeah, I am kind of,” and refrain from pointing out they’re a big nerd too. Probably bigger than me. Like closeted gays who rattle off homophobic epithets to protect themselves from their own desires, the biggest offenders of workplace nerd-bashing are closeted nerds. Another reason the Nerd Pride movement is so important.

ugly betty
They even make sitcoms about nerds facing discrimination in the workplace.

By and large, Mandi and I have been lucky. We’ve both worked exclusively in nerd-friendly environments. Mandi worked at a Nerd Store (comics, role-playing games, magic supplies—as in actual stage magic, not the card game) and historical reenactment Fort, and I’ve worked at video stores and record stores before moving on to the uber-geeky environment of mid-level government offices.

Record stores may seem like hot-beds of cool from the outside, but you’ll never find a more wretched hive of nerds and geekery. Sure, the odd coolie-woolie comes in looking for the hippest new record by the hippest new band from Brooklyn, but the regulars are guys looking for first-pressings of ’70s prog bands or Japanese pressings of Deep Purple records with the obi intact.

I ask you who’s nerdier: A guy looking for a specific Spiderman comic or a dude looking for a specific bluegrass 78 from the 1930s? I’ve seen both and let me tell you, anyone looking for 78s is beyond hope.

So the other side of the counter is pretty much the safest place for a nerd to work. I’ve also seen nerds’ social statuses skyrocket as soon as they became record store employees. It’s a sad statement on society and the sheep-like nature of human beings, but it’s a fact. Record stores turn nerds from pumpkins into princesses. Too bad they really are going to be a thing of the past in about five to ten years.

Nerd-bashing certainly can be a danger in the workplace, we’ve just never experienced it. But normies should take note and watch this classic study on what can result from workplace nerd abuse. Be careful who you marginalize.

LINK: We reference a Karen who bought actress Suzie Plakson‘s vulcan ears. And we say some stuff about that. You can read about that HERE for context.


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