Before we joined the Simply Syndicated network, the first 31 episodes of Nerd Hurdles were hosted on Podbean. Technically, they still are. But since letting our pro-account lapse there’s been a bandwidth problem were the files are only available for about the first half of the month before they hit the free-account ceiling. While SimSyn’s hosting was on Libsyn, we started releasing these episodes as “Special Editions” with newly recorded introductions. When SimSyn moved our hosting to Soundcloud, those files were again lost (we’d only managed to upload the first 10 anyway). So, here they are once more; uploaded to a 3rd audio service and hopefully the last.
This episode is a little of the ol’ rough and tumble through the pages of fanfic turned “mommy porn” sensation, Fifty Shades of Grey, with fan-favourite co-host, Kathie (What Introduced Mandi to Fanfic, Apparently). She’s back and ready to dominate us as we delve into fifty shades of tangents while putting our hard limits to the test. All without agreeing on a safe word before hand, mind you.
Unless you’ve been under a rock for six months, you will have noticed a lot of chatter on the interwebs about a Twilight fanfic turned international best-seller. Some call it sexually liberating, some call it misogynistic drivel. Most just make reference to the tampon scene. (Of course, there’s a long history of menstrual sexiness. The fanfic writes itself in these ads from the 1950’s).
As with any book that so divides public opinion, there must be something to it, right? Well… there’s certainly a lot of ellipses. We were actually a little surprised to discover how little there was to get upset about. In some ways, less then in Twilight. Sure, it’s the old girl meets boy, girl is emotionally controlled by boy, girl decided she can change boy story. But there’s a distinct lack of substance. It’s sort of like getting angry with marshmallows for lacking nutrition.
If you still don’t know what all the fuss is about, this tells you pretty much all you need to know.
And if you like the sounds of this…
…then you’re going to want to stick around for the easter egg where we’ve uncovered the encrypted holodeck logs of a certain Starfleet Captain.
And before you ask, no, we didn’t know about this video before naming the episode.
The whole point of this episode was to make it up to people who were upset by our treatment of Buffy The Vampire Slayer in our Buffy episode. Because, really, one of the other two is the obvious biggest hurdle. In hindsight, this is probably not going to appease the Buffsters. And Twihards (not to mention the abomination that are Twilight Moms) probably aren’t going to be happy either. There’s no recasting this time around at least.
Vampire fans might question why the Anne Rice Lestativerse isn’t on the card here. Blade and Underworld and good old Dracula as well could probably have cases made for them being bigger nerd hurdles than either Buffy or Trueblood. And people would be right to question our oversight. But let’s be honest, there’s only one franchise we were ever going to name as the biggest hurdle winner of Round 3 (not to spoiler the episode, but take a wild guess).
Throwing Blade into the mix might have monkey-wrenched the outcome we were carefully rigging. Because, goddamn, that Blade is hella nerdy. Heck, Westley Snipes is a hurdle unto himself.
Underworld though probably isn’t popular enough to be in the running for Ultimate Hurdle and Dracula is somewhat (for some uncomprehendable reason) universally loved.
We should probably have talked more about the Anne Rice Vampire Lestat novels in the episode. Because they remain primarily a literary fandom instead of a film franchise, getting into her world is by definition a nerd hurdle. Also the popular perception her books are written only for velvet-caped goths is going to keep many people away. Truly, the Anne Rice books could have been in the running. If not for the existence of the clear winner.
There’s surprisingly few Twilight Vs. Trueblood videos out there. This one seemed pretty funny at 2am on New Years.
The song that plays during the cage match “promo” and at the end of the episode is “Yo-Yo- Daddy-O” by superPOP and can be downloaded at the Arachnidiscs Free Downloads page.
ginger pride: We’re all about the Nerd Pride and the Gay Pride but we’ve been remiss in supporting the Ginger Pride. Here’s some questions for debate. Has Ron Weasley hurt or helped the cause? Is M.I.A. prophet or a satirist with her video?
80 year old gay and nick daddies tube: We’re also about the 80 year old gay and nick daddies pride, apparently. Whatever a “nick daddy” is. Sounds British.
how to draw fucking cool things: This is the updated 2010 edition of How To Draw Comics The Marvel Way. It has a chapter just on drawing a kitten driving a giant robotic unicorn trampling Edward and Bella.
emo nazgul: “I hate everything. Sauron is always making me ride all over Middle Earth looking for stupid fucking Hobbits. Hobbits? Seriously? Halflings? It’s not fair. If he’s so great why can’t he just teleport them into his tower? He just doesn’t want me to have any fun. The other Nazguls don’t get it. They just go along with whatever Sauron says like they’re compelled to. Fucking sheeple. I hate everything.”
Last weekend New Moon opened and in the process broke a bunch of box-office records or something. Clearly teenage girls like the whole vampires vs werewolves thing. Or maybe they just like hunk vs. hunk. I’m almost tempted to check out some Jacob/Edward fic, but I think I’ll refrain.
But if Twilight is the domain of teenage girls, a certain type of young man (*cough* basement nerd *cough*) goes for another vampires vs. werewolves franchise, Underworld. This has a lot, I suspect, to do with Kate Beckinsale‘s vinyl onesie.
Underworld gave us a lot to talk about. For instance werecats (personally, I’d want to turn into a Russian Fishing Cat) and Perfect Strangers. Which are sort of combined here in this fabulous video:
We took on a big hurdle for our inaugural episode, Twilight, and in the process set (seemingly in stone) two Nerd Hurdles motifs which we’d return to again and again for years.
1) Going to see a movie and recording about it directly afterwards before we’d had time to reflect on the film and develop balanced, thoughtful critiques or even real opinions.
2) A bounty of derision and snark regarding the episode’s topic.
A NOTE ON THE SPECIAL EDITIONS: Before we joined the Simply Syndicated network, the first 31 episodes of Nerd Hurdles were hosted on Podbean. Technically, they still are. But since letting our pro-account lapse there’s been a bandwidth problem were the files are only available for the first half of the month before they hit the Podbean ceiling. While SimSyn’s hosting was on Libsyn, we started releasing these episodes as “Special Editions” with newly recorded introductions. When SimSyn moved our hosting to Soundcloud, those files were again lost (and we’d only managed to upload the first 10 anyway). So, here they are once more; uploaded to a 3rd audio service and hopefully the last.