November 2011: crippling self doubt and cheesy horror

December 2, 2011


The image below has nothing to do with anything but being awesome. Actual, crazy, IRL search terms that got people to this blog in November 2011 to follow…

God hates Jedi image

wesley crusher ball gag: I don’t think this is a sex thing. Just a “Shut up, Wesley” thing.

wesley crusher porn: I also refuse to believe this is a sex thing. More of a form of torture employed by the U.S. occupation in Afghanistan ever since water boarding got a bad rap.

masturbate on wesley crusher: Okay, this might be a sex thing. I’m wondering who is supposed to be masturbating on him though. My bet is Data.

star trek wesley crusher dies: I found no evidence of this. But I did find this disturbing tidbit: “Wesley has a birthmark in the buttocks or groin area and is allergic to metorapan treatments.” (source)

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Search Terms September: Darth Porn and Stupid Giant Robots

October 3, 2011

darth porn: I guess George Lucas is running out of words with negative connotations to name new Sith characters after. Darth Tax Au’dit, Darth Plahd Sh’ert and  Darth Hemor-Rhoid all failed to inspire the requisite sense of menace.

darth redenbacher how to draw tie fighter: This is a perfectly legitimate search in itself. I started formulating a joke about instead giving instructions for drawing a bow tie and then MY BRAIN IMPLODED. It’s taken me 34 years to figure out they’re called TIE Fighters because they look like fucking bow ties. Fuck you George Lucas and your bullshit naming conventions.

huge thai fighter fuck:
I know it’s entirely unrelated, but now I can only picture Orville Redenbacher fucking a Thai boxing ladyboy.

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Episode 114 – Wil Wheaton Special

May 27, 2011

Wil Wheaton. AKA Wesley Crusher. AKA @wilw. AKA the king of the nerds. Hated by Trekkies, loved by Mandi. And now loved by everyone (1,825,339 people on Twitter at least). As a popular internet fauxtivational poster meme states, never has public dislike been so good for an actor’s career.

The man truly is a testament to nerd pride. Loathed by proxy due his spot-on portrayal of a 24th century nerd, I think pretty much everyone had written him off as a has been once he left Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Wesley Crusher in LederhosenThen something amazing happened. Wil Wheaton let his nerd flag fly on his blog, and then Twitter, and people began to love him for all the same attributes they hated Wesley Crusher. He was smart, earnest, geeky, awkward, a little conceited at times, a little cripplingly self-loathing at times and simply someone nerds could relate to.

Though the character Wesley might have been too close to home—too much of an unforgiving  nerd mirror—for many Trekkies, Wil Wheaton was able to be openly nerdy and help others proudly exit the nerd closet.

Nearly two million people follow him on Twitter now and I would think none of them do so for the same train wreck voyeurism they were hoping to get from Charlie Sheen‘s feed. Instead, it’s because Wil really is (to quote the title of his book) just a geek. When an @wilw tweet shows up in your feed, it’s probably no different from the tweets of any of your nerdy friends. There are times I forget I don’t actually know him.

And now, in an unpredictable coupe, Wheaton is the go-to cameo actor for any show trying to gain geek cred. From The Guild to Big Bang Theory, Wil’s coat-tails have been well-ridden of late. If you’d asked me in 1987 if this would ever come to pass, I’d have chortled mightily.

Actually, I’d have thought the concept there could even be a “king of the nerds”, and not just the butt of jokes (i.e., Revenge of the Nerds), would’ve been an absurdity.

We’ve come a long way, baby.

She’s Having a Baby (his first cameo?):

On River Phoenix’s death:


Epside 61 – Complete TOSsers

April 16, 2010

This week Jakob and Mandi talk about the show that, ultimately, brought them together. Without “Star Trek” being in his online dating profile, Mandi wouldn’t have had anything to say  “Brave move” about. Well. One less thing.

Anyway, the original Star Trek must be a big deal because so many people have parodied it over the years.


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