Coming To Terms: The Internet is Weird

September gave us fewer new weirdo search strings though not fewer over all, just fewer ones we hadn’t seen before. “Zombies weddings”, Christina Aguilera’s Ass” and “Rainbow Darth Vader” are still popular as ever. The internet is a weird place.

“kate libby” red shirt hackers: “Red Shirt Hackers” sounds to me like a Star Trek themed psychobilly band. But no, it’s just a hideous red shirt that Angelina Jolie wears in the movie Hackers. Apparently it’s “iconic” and “awesome” or something. The Internet is a weird place.

“wesley crusher” cock slash: I bet a few people would have liked to slash Wesley’s cock back in the day. And, no, that’s not a euphemism for something pleasurable Mandi would have engaged in. I think they were actually looking for some Wesley/Riker fics. I assume this based on the specific use of the word “cock” (alternate meaning: “dickhead”) and not that the Googler didn’t figure penises would be a given in a Wesley slash.

how to draw a tie fighters: Step 1: Draw an eyeball. Step Two: Stick some open umbrellas on either side of that eyeball. Follow this link to see how to draw a Thai fighter.

x files mully and sculder work for who: I bet there’s some real nasty (or awesome) Mulder/Dr. Who fics out there.

“think in the middle”: The latest craze in creative thinking is getting back inside the box and thinking “in the middle.” But it’s hard to find articles that say so. Instead you get:

  • “I don’t think in the middle ages you seen a guy with a giant sized key running around. NO! because he would have looked like a fagot.” You know who else looks like a “fagot”?
  • “Education actually counts for a lot less than you might otherwise think in the middle-middle class.” Yes, but in the middle-middle-middle-class it’s vital.
  • “What do you think of the name Sonya? ~ I think in the middle, more-so opposite. I haven’t heard of many Sonyas.” Not even Red Sonya?
  • “Members that think ‘In the Middle of Every Difficulty Lies Opportunity’ is the best!” In that case, the middle of your lack of grammar is a frakking pot of gold.
  • “I think in the middle of the night they only have one person working, because when my car made our order he said we have to give him a minute to go make it and had us pull into a parking space. Who goes here during the day?  I sure don’t…”  I wish my car could order food for me.
  • “QatarGeeks: @mohamed: i think in the Middle East i think it’s the times to start. It’s a potential market” I guess someone had to be able to secure “Mohamed” as their Twitter name.
  • “The revolution will be televised: the fluffy precinct of girl talk and pop stars, Arab chat shows are changing the way women think in the Middle East” Chat shows have been doing so in the Mid-West for decades.
  • “There’s…green all over…and…it LOOKS like…some sort of…person I think…in the middle.” Huh? And what?
  • “I don’t think in the middle school, because it’s so big and chaotic, I don’t think learning was the thing. I think the thing was trying to find a place.” Kind of like high school, university and work.
  • “In the clocks of the last age there was, I think, in the middle of the dial-plate, a figure of Time.” A couple of hands that point towards numbers which signify hours and minutes perhaps?
  • “haha! i think in the middle of a four album contract with a major is exactly when most bands decide to fuck with the formula.” Only if they’re following a formula.
  • “I think in the middle of the movie it should just display DNS Failure.” That would have been a twist in Inception I didn’t see coming.
  • “What business has he to think in the middle of the night?” My guess is “dreaming”.
  • “Because first you will think in the middle. Like: 23. Then, when you hear they have to be odd, you think: “Ah, 3 is odd, but 2 isn’t.” No wonder I failed math.
  • “Nonsense, there’s no time to think in the middle of a skid. I want new drivers to practice that maneuver on a ball-bearing race track.” That sounds a lot more interesting than my driver’s ed course.
  • “Diane, I think in the middle there it would be her cheeks, judging by that cute lil’ dimple!! They say that she has every facial feature…” This about twins conjoined at the face, I believe. Seriously. I looked into it.
  • “In these cases, puzzles are intended to serve as pacing devices, allowing a moment to relax and think in the middle of all the killing.” I don’t know if I hope this is about our troops in the Middle East or video games. Either option gives me a bad feeling.
  • “i think in the middle of the story daniel will take ‘revenge’ on phil your student, logan.” This teacher clearly needs to focus less on murder plots and more on grammar. Still, I really want to know what happens to Daniel and Phil! And  Logan. I feel like Logan is in danger somehow.

The Internet is a really weird place when you dig into it.

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